Radiant Light
by totoro
Summary: MUAH-HA! Ayame jumps in and all the seriousness of the fic has been taken away! HUZZAH! Please read and review!!
1. Prologue

~authors note: Sorry this is kinda lame... I'm really bored b/c I've been reading history all night... I need a creative outlet. Forgive the lameness of this oneshot! Ritsu is one of my fav. chars, and you really don't see him that much in fanfics... I hope you enjoy!~  
  
I lay on my bed quietly, watching the silver blades of my ceiling fan go round and round. I can feel my face beginning to form a permanent frown. The window curtains are pulled back just a little, so the sun flicks me in the eye every so often, glinting off the painted wood.  
  
I stare out the window to watch Akito-san, standing in the courtyard with my parents. He came to try to heal from his most recent ailment. I had walked out to greet him earlier, completely forgetting to change out of my woman's green silk kimono. I glanced down after seeing his expression, and dropped to my knees with my parents. "Gomen nasai!" I could feel my throat begin to crack as I said my apologies over and over, my eyes watering with shame. "Gomen ne! Sememosen! Gomen nasai!" I could feel his sharp eyes watching my humiliation, and I watched his pale feet walk away without acknowledging my presence at all. I'm falling into a dark tunnel of grief, crying out for help but getting no reply, sinking a little farther in with every moment.  
  
I turn my face to stare at the wall as a hot tear rolls down the bridge of my nose and splatters itself onto the silk of my kimono. I'm not wanted. I could hear my parents still apologizing over and over to Akito, who had come back after I left. I was so unwanted. I am just a flea to my parents, a parasite, never leaving unless killed. I look over at my nightstand, where the obi for my kimono lays, unraveled. The thickness of the belt would be just right, I think, picking it up and fondling the smooth texture of the silk.  
  
I turn off the fan, and wrapping the end of my obi around it. Finding a stepstool, I balance while making a small loop in the other end, and slip my head through. There is no escaping this long dark road. I tighten the loose knot around my hated neck, and try to get up enough courage to do it. If I had the courage, there would be no more despair all around me.  
  
Just do it, I think to myself. No one loves you. I can feel the fear rising in my gut, and my face flush. You are hated. You are a walking, breathing mistake. Just end it, and give all those kind people around you a breath of relief. I edge my toe over the side of the stool, closing my eyes. I let it dangle over, balancing on one foot. You have no use in this world. You are just too clumsy to have a purpose. I barely edge my other foot over, and my life flashes before my eyes in an array of memories that seem like movie clips. Standing outside watching my parents agonize over me, seeing myself in a girl's kimono, the deep sadness of this tunnel I'm engulfed in. But a moment of my life flashes before me. A girl with long onyx hair and sparkling ocean colored eyes. Her smile stretches across her face, and her laughter fills my mind. The wind snaps her hair around her face as she says something I can't understand the words. Her eyes light up with happiness, and I feel a smile form on my unwelcome lips.  
  
I slip my foot back over the stool, opening my eyes. No one has found me like this. How could I have possibly been that bold? I wonder to myself. I slide my other foot back on gently, gaining my balance once again. I slip the noose off of my neck, and untie it from the fan. A tear rolls down my cheek as I think of what I was about to do, and how no one would have cared anyway. No one would have cared an ounce, I think as I sit back onto my small bed in my small room.  
  
I sit on my bed, with waves of depression rolling over me. The tunnel swallows me more with every breath I try to take. No one cares, and no one will ever care. The girl with the long black hair flashes through my head again, her smile lighting the picture like it was the sun. I stare deeply into those kind turquoise eyes, and watch her mouth say something. The words were coming to me. "...I want to live my life for someone..." a small wisp of a memory comes again. I could only see her in that moment, absorbed by the thought she had been sharing. I wipe the tears off of my cheek, and see the smiling face again. I can feel myself take a step towards the light of her smile. There is someone who cares about me. She would have cared. I can see myself moving forward through the dark abyss. She would have cared. Another step. I realize that I can only see her in this tunnel of sadness, her smile, her eyes. She is what I'm moving towards. She is what I want to live for. That smile that brightens everything. It melts away all the pain in my heart. I can feel it embracing me, the warmth and kindness of that smile, those eyes, that sweet face. She is my savior. She is the light at the end of the tunnel.  
  
I lay on my bed quietly, watching the blades on the ceiling fan go round and round. A little smile forms on my lips as the sun flicks me in the eyes. It reminds me of that radiant light that I live for. 


	2. Panes of Glass

Author's note: haha... I got an idea while eating a meatball sub. THE FOOD OF INSPIRATION!! Muah hahaha!! Arigatou for reading, and reviews are always appreciated ^_^!  
  
I plopped into a whicker chair at my small kitchen table, sighing heavily. The large windows, which made up one of the walls in my small apartment, sat in front of the table, and overlooked a tiny strip of park, and then another apartment building. They had been the only reason I bought the place after I had moved out of the Hot Spring, but I somewhat regretted my decision as I looked around.  
  
I stirred my weak coffee, staring at the little bubbles forming on top. I always was easily amused. I took a sip, the scent of the beans greeting my tired senses. I watched the children playing in the park, wishing I could be small again. I could never go home.  
  
flashback (to a year earlier)  
  
I stood at the door of Shigure-sensei's house, fingering the thin paper sliding door. I was trying to figure out whether or not to go in, so uninvited... unwanted. They would probably kick me out. Even Tohru. Tears formed behind my eyes, and I studied my feet for a moment, trying to come up with my decision.  
  
I slit the door, and looked through the tiny crack. The entrance room was empty. I opened the door, slipping inside and quietly making my way around the room so as not to draw any attention to myself. **I shouldn't be in here!! AAAUGH what if they catch me?! What will I do?! They'll disown me!!!!** Tears streamed down my face as I whispered "Gomen nasai gomen nasai gomen nasai gomen nasai..." over and over. My mantra became more urgent as I made my way farther into the house.  
  
Nothing but nothing in all of the rooms. I poked my head around corners, blinking hard and trying to figure out where everyone was. Silence filled my ears and I realized everyone was gone. Even the cat. "AAAAAAAH!! I HAVE BROKEN AND ENTERED!! I AM A COMMON CRIMINAL!! I AM SUCH A DIRTY PERSON!!" I leaned on the doorway, and then leaped away from it. "I AM GETTING FINGERPRINTS EVERYWHERE!! OOOH THE HORROR!! I MUST FIND SHIGURE- SENSEI AND COME CLEAN!! I AM SUCH A BAD PERSON!! I MUST APPEASE HIS ANGER!!!!" and with that I headed out of the house, glancing back at the roof, for once disappointed that the neko wasn't up there.  
  
***  
  
The towering wooden Honke doors loomed over my head as I stood in their frightening shadow. I hate this place. I tugged at the heavy metal rings hanging from the metal band encompassing the doors, and slid inside the compound.  
  
"Konnichiwa..." I said to no one in particular. I supposed I would go and see Hatori and Momiji. They always seemed welcoming, and the little rabbit boy was kind. I walked past Akito-sama's home, my khaki pants brushing the ground as I walked. I had made sure to put my hair into a ponytail, and dress like a boy so I didn't offend him. I saw a small movement from the window, but my eyes were recently playing tricks on me, so I ignored it.  
  
As I reached Hatori-san's house, the silence that had been surrounding me since Shigure was broken by a small cry. My eyes widened, hoping it was nothing. "Hello?" I called, and noticed the small blonde boy sitting on the end of the porch. "Momiji-san! Konnichiwa," I waved, trying to smile. He didn't look, but drew in a long breath and let it out shakily.  
  
"Momiji-san?" I rushed over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. It slumped under my touch, and suddenly his arms were around my waist. He let out a cry as his shoulders shook, and he cried into my green shirt. "GOMEN NASAI!! DAIJOBU DESU KA?!" I didn't know how to respond to his sudden outburst, and protectively hugged him back. "DAUIJOBU?!" he looked up at me, his light brown eyes watering, and buried his face into my stomach again. I started panicking. What was going on?! I hugged him, and he lifted his face, staring at me.  
  
"Tohru...-sama..." he sniffed, his tears beginning again. "Hari... Akito..." he couldn't make out full sentences without bursting into tears again, his little face flushed and tear-streaked. "She... she... w- won't..." he shut his eyes, bringing his hands up to his face and sobbing sadly. "remember."  
  
I sat, and before I knew my own actions, burst into the house, to find Tohru laying in a small heap on the floor. "TOHRU-SAMA!! NO!!" I bawled, my tears immediately dropping onto the floor. I slumped to my knees, cradling her head in my arms. Hatori sat in his doctor's swivel chair, breathing softly and watching my display. "no... no!! Why, Hatori!? Why!?" he didn't answer, just turned his chair away, and picked up the picture of Kana-san. I cried, burying my face in her hair.  
  
end of flashback  
  
Tears welled up as I finished my coffee, absently concentrating on the park's greenery. In my peripheral vision, I could see a large white van pulling into a parking spot, followed by a small blue car. I watched as a man got out of the van, and helped a little brown-haired girl in a green dress out of the car. She smiled softly, looking blankly around.  
  
"AAAUGH I SHOULDN'T SPY!!!" I turned my face away, but was suddenly so struck with fascination for some reason, that my eyes kept traveling back to the van and blue car. The girl and man went inside, and I made myself another cup of coffee, sitting dazedly into my chair. "So familiar, however." I searched the building windows for signs of life, stopping at one on the third floor, second from the end. I saw a small light flicker on, and the girl walked past the big windows happily. "Those apartments must be set up just like ours." I was suddenly very intrigued as to who this person was. Something about her struck a chord with me, and I scrutinized her face. "I AM SUCH A PERVERT!! GOMEN NASAI, UNKNOWN GIRL!! SUMIMASEN!!"  
  
I stood, brushing out the wrinkles in my khakis, and hurried out the door. I was so flustered by what I had seen.  
  
***  
  
The manager of the small convenience store I was employed at currently stood in the doorway, tapping his foot. "You are late, Sohma."  
  
"GOMEN NASAI!! I RAN LATE THIS MORNING BECA-" I was cut off since he abruptly turned and headed to the back of the store. My panic intensified and I followed him closely.  
  
"Baka. I am giving you one last chance to get here on time or else you are gone," he turned to me coldly, speaking in his ever-monotonous tone.  
  
"Hai, Nakamuri-sensei," he turned, handing over the cash-register key. I clipped my nametag on quickly, and made my way back to the front counter. He left quickly, eager to get home, and I began to clean the store.  
  
***  
  
I set my keys on the table, sighing and opening the refrigerator. I poked amongst the frozen products and closed the door, rubbing my eyes. I shook my head to wake myself up, and opened my small pantry. I retrieved a small packet of ramen, and decided that it was good enough.  
  
I hadn't stopped thinking of the pretty brunette that had moved in across the park. In a way, it was somewhat exciting, in a childish sort of perverted way, to be able to spy, but it was perverted nonetheless. I didn't bother to make more dishes by putting the ramen into a bowl, and just set the whole pot onto the table and grabbed a pair of chopsticks.  
  
I hadn't stopped thinking of that sweet smile all day, however. The blank stare, the green dress. It was all so very familiar, on the tip of my tongue, you might say, but I couldn't grasp exactly who it was. That little flip of brown hair, the girl walking past the window. I couldn't get the images out of my mind. "Gomen ne, shitsumeishi..." I looked at my feet as I ate, slumping into my seat, but my eyes kept traveling back to the third floor, second window.  
  
A light flickered on, and I squinted my eyes to see into the apartment. It had furniture sparsely decorating its bare floors, but there were no boxes anywhere, despite the fact that she had moved in that day.  
  
"Ah... I wish I was as diligent as you..." I said softly, leaning forward as I noticed a bit of movement, and I took a bit of noodles between my chopsticks.  
  
The room had barely any furniture. Merely a chair, and a small cot, a little radio and a stove. There was a door, the only one I could see through her big windows, through which light spilled, and she walked in, pulling at the collar of her dress. My eyes widened, and I stared quickly into my pot of ramen. "I am such a pervert!! Sumimasen, shitsumeishi- san!!" I realized I still didn't know this person, yet I was watching her through a pane of glass like a stalker. "GOMEN NASAI!! I HAVE BECOME A PERVERT!! A PEEPING TOM!! A STALKER!! AAAH I CANNOT TAKE IT!! I AM SO SORRY!!" I ran from the window, quickly throwing myself under the covers of my bed, and closing my eyes.  
  
***  
  
Several hours later, I was still awake. I wept softly, thinking of the horrible perverted creature I had become. I couldn't get her out of my mind. How was it that I could be so obsessed with this person!? It was unhealthy.  
  
I rolled onto my back, and looked at the ceiling fan spinning. The moon filtered into the room through the big window, and I lifted my head, looking at the lights flickering in the park. "I'm so alone." There was nothing for me to live for any longer except for the girl across the park. It was mere infatuation, a small act of love and devotion to someone who will never know. I began to cry once more, wiping the tears softly with my palms. I was so alone. "I love you, Tohru-san, and I miss you," I mumbled, flopping my head back down and closing my eyes. Tears squeezed out of my eyes as I tried to sleep. "Come back."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Author's Note: shitsumeishi= unknown person. I hope you enjoyed it, and if so, please review. Even flames are welcomed ^_^;. I hope this will live up to your expectations in the end, and thank you so much for reading!! ^____^ *~*~*~* 


	3. Binoculars

Author's Note: These chappies are not nearly as serious as the first one, because Ritsu is not supposed to be serious all the time... I figure it can have some goofy Rit-chan parts!! MUAH HAHAHA... long chappie, btw ^_^  
  
A little flip of her hair, and a barely visible smile crossed the girl's lips as I watched her from the table. The milk dripped off my spoon, my hand frozen mid-bite as I watched the attractive display wide-eyed. Who she was still remained on the tip of my tongue, but my mind wouldn't register it. I had been watching her for nearly a week, totally mesmerized by her every move. She smiled so often. She once had a friend over, and she had been so kind, serving every little thing, and bowing madly whenever she made a mistake. Shitsumeishi-san, as I now affectionately called her, always ate alone, turning on the radio before she began and bobbing softly with the music. Though she was always alone, I never saw her frown, never saw her cry. I began looking forward to my daily ritual of watching her. I felt connected to her. She walked across the window, gathering her keys, and the door closed behind her.  
  
I glanced down, suddenly catching myself observing her every move, and my pace quickened. "AAAAH GOMEN NASAI!! I AM SUCH A PERVERT!! I WISH I KNEW YOU SO I COULD MAKE IT UP TO YOU... I WOULD KILL MYSELF, BUT I AM TOO COWARDLY... PLUS I'D BE LATE FOR WORK!!!!" I sobbed, wiping my face with my hands. "Gomen, shitsumeishi-san!" I bowed, standing quickly from the table and heading out the door.  
  
I turned the engine several times, I nearly giving up hope as the engine started roughly. I chugged away from the sidewalk, driving carefully into traffic. I looked out the side-window, watching the cars drive past.  
  
***  
  
"For once you're early," Nakamuri-sensei observed as I walked through the door. "Now get to work." He commanded, and rushed out the door.  
  
"Arigatou..." I sniffed, trying to hold back my apologies, and waved weakly. I picked up a rag and began buffing my counter, making it sparkle. "Ah I do such a bad job here..." I moaned, breaking out my broom and sweeping any speck of dirt I saw anywhere. I straightened chip-bags, drinks, refilled the soda machines. "Boring job..." I muttered, and then realizing what I said, I screamed at the security camera, "GOMEN NASAI, NAKAMURI-SENSEI I DIDN'T MEAN THAT THIS WAS A BORING JOB IN ITSELF I JUST MEANT THAT PERHAPS I SHOULD GET A LITTLE VARIATION IN THE JOB OR LIVEN IT UP OUT OF MY OWN CREATIVITY PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME I AM SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF PLEASE ALLOW ME TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU BY WORKING THREE EXTRA HOURS OVERTIME OF YOUR SHIFT EACH DAY THIS WEEK!!!" I realized what I had said once more and fell to my knees sobbing. "Gomen nasai... I deserve it..." I whimpered. I could almost feel Nakamuri-sensei smiling at my offer already.  
  
I lurched back to my counter, clunking down in a chair and weeping bitterly to myself. I placed a hand over my face, and cursed myself for being so darn stupid.  
  
The magical sort of little bell rang as the door way opened, and I lifted my head slowly, still whimpering. "Ohayou!" said a girl who had entered, her back turned. Her long hair was up in braided pigtails, and she searched through the back of the store for strawberry Sobe. She finally found the last remaining bottle and picked out a small box of crackers. I had put my face back down and was only half-watching her, and she finally came to the register to ring up her purchase. I lifted my head, scanning her from bottom to top, noticing the neatly-fitting yellow dress. My eyes never made it to her face.  
  
It was the girl... I looked out the window of the store, where the blue car sat. I had to see her face. I slowly let my eyes wander upwards.  
  
"Tohru...-sama?!" I whispered softly, my mouth hanging open.  
  
"I'm sorry?" she said, her eyes widening slightly. She fumbled with one of her braids, and quickly fished around in her purse. "What did you say?"  
  
"I said..." I couldn't think of anything. I stuttered brainlessly for a moment. "I- ah- gomen- ah... //Do... you wanna// pay for that with cash or check? Because I have to ring you up and it may take a moment... for checks..." I could barely take lying to her. I put a hand up to my face and sobbed silently for a moment while she pulled out some cash. "A- arigatou..." I said, some tears still running down my face.  
  
"OH MY!! Are you alright?! Oh I'm sorry!! Please forgive me!! I'm so sorry I didn't mean to offend you I just wasn't paying attention AAH not to say you aren't worth paying attention to please, please don't cry!!" she waved her hands frantically in front of her face, trying to fix whatever she did wrong, which made me feel even worse. I had been watching... Tohru... Another burst of tears came out as I rang up her items. She continued to stutter and stumble over words as I handed her back her change.  
  
"It's..." I sniffed, and moaned softly, trying to contain myself. "It is alright..." She watched me for a moment, her smile turning a bit down at the corners, and turned. I collapsed into a heap, and sobbed. By the time I realized she forgot everything she had just bought, she was in her car.  
  
"AAAAH!!!! I AM A CRIMINAL!!" I grabbed the things and ran out of the store, but she pulled away. "NOO!! GOMEN NASAI!!" I dropped to my knees, apologizing to her disappearing car over and over.  
  
***  
  
I paced my apartment, watching Tohru talk to her mother while sitting in a chair by the window. "How could I have let her go... how?! She was right there... I am so stupid... I couldn't have just said 'Hi, Tohru! You live across the way from me!'... no but then I'd have to explain how I knew that... and I would have to tell her I watch her!!! AAAAH I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON!! A PEEPING TOM!! AM I TURNING INTO SHIGURE-SENSEI!? AAAAAH THAT WAS MEAN!!" I couldn't bear the horror of this world anymore. I looked at the groceries she had bought, which were sitting on my table instead of hers, which was my fault. I glanced out the window, which was also my fault for being such a lecherous person... and then I glanced at what I was wearing...  
  
The simple girl's gown stared back at me, and I made a break for the kitchen utensil's drawer. "I MUST END MY LIFE!! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!! I AM SO LECHEROUS AND HORRIBLE!! I SHOULD DIE!! I NEED TO DIE!!" I retrieved the first thing I could lay my hands on and began sawing at my wrists without even a glance at what it happened to be.  
  
Soon, I grew bored of trying to kill myself with a spoon and collapsed in the middle of the floor and sobbed. "I should... I should..." I picked up the phone and dialed the only person who I knew would be able to help me.  
  
"Moshi moshi?" A woman's voice picked up. I couldn't make out who it was... I had never been bold enough to call this number before.  
  
"Konnichiwa..." I sighed into the phone, still slightly crying. "May I please..."  
  
"Yes?" the little voice inquired, perking my senses.  
  
"May I please speak... to Ayame-sensei?" I said quietly.  
  
"Hai, may I ask who is speaking?" she asked curtly.  
  
"Would you tell him that Sohma Ritsu is on the ph-"  
  
"AAAAH RIT-CHAN! I KNEW SOMEDAY YOU WOULD CRAWL OUT OF YOUR SHELL, AND WHO, OF COURSE, WOULD YOU COME TO?! AH, ME!" Ayame's loud voice boomed so loudly over the phone and I held it away from my ear. "HO-HO-HO! I SHALL BE WHERE YOU ARE..." a knock came at my door.  
  
"Ah... I clicked on the phone receiver. "Ayame-sensei?" I hung up and answered the door.  
  
"NOW!" He carried about half his supplies for work and a little girl in a maid's uniform followed him in. "HALLO, RIT-CHAN! IT IS LOVELY TO HAVE ME, NO?" He unfurled about 6 long fabrics and began sewing. "I THOUGHT TO BRING MY WORK WITH ME, BEING THAT MY GENUIS IS SO INCREDIBLY GREAT, IF YOU DO NOT MIND!"  
  
"Ah, what a lovely apartment..." the little girl commented, but then pulled out about a thousand feet of fabric, which lay crumpled behind her in a long trail. "But so drab! Shall we fix it, Tencho?!" he nodded, and she put up some curtains on my windows instantly, and then began upholstering my whicker chairs in pink.  
  
"Eto..."  
  
"OH-HO-HO!" Ayame bellowed, leaning over in my face. "Don't mind Mine-san there, she just loves this kind of thing as well as dressing up cute girls. Don't you Mine?!" He smiled broadly at her.  
  
"Hai, Tencho!" she looked up from her work briefly, smiling, and went back to it once more. I watched her steady movements as she sewed a ruffle onto some counter-top spreads. After a while, she glanced out the window, slightly aware of my eyes upon her. "Tencho...?" she murmured, leaning forward and squinting through her wide-framed glasses. "Is that the adorable girl that I was allowed to dress up in "it" when Ototo-kun came to visit?" suddenly both she and Ayame were pressed up against the glass of my window with a pair of binoculars shared between them.  
  
"Why, Mine-san, I believe it is... OH-HO, RI-CHAN! DID YOU KNOW THAT OUR SWEET AND BELOVED TOHRU IS LIVING ACROSS THE WAY? AND THAT THERE ARE DELICIOUS THINGS SITTING HERE ON THE TABLE? REFRESHMENTS?! AH, HOW KIND OF YOU TO PREPARE FOR OUR ARRIVAL!" Ayame was about to open the pack of crackers, but I leaped forward and grabbed both them and the drink out of their hands.  
  
I stood for a moment, the deafening silence filling the room. I stared, they stared. It was altogether uncomfortable. "GOMEN NASAI!! IT IS JUST THAT IT IS A VERY LONG STORY ABOUT HOW THESE ARE TOHRU-SAMA'S AND I DON'T' WANT ANYONE TO EAT THEM I WANT YOU TO HELP ME GET THEM BACK TO HER AND I AM SO SORRY I WILL SERVE YOU SOMETHING TO EAT IF YOU ARE HUNGRY GOMEN NASA-HA- HAAAI!!!!" I clutched the provisions tightly to my chest and panted, trying to keep myself from bursting into violent sobs.  
  
"Ano..." the girl stuttered, trying to make out what I had just said, not knowing how to react. "perhaps I'll go watch the store..." and with that she left Ayame standing watching me with some random paper flying around in her wake.  
  
"AAH GURE-SAN TOLD ME ABOUT THIS! YOU LOVE HER! AH, HOW WONDERFUL, LITTLE MONKEY! HAH-HAH-HAH! LET US TAKE THE PROVISIONS TO YOUR MAIDEN!" he didn't seem to be sad over the loss of Tohru at all. I gasped as he suddenly produced a very nice basket and shoved the Sobe and crackers in. He circled me once, and abruptly I was wearing men's clothes... and my hair was styled nicely...  
  
"AAAH I AM SO MUCH TROUBLE TO AYAME-SENSEI!! GOMEN NASAI, AYAME-SENSEI!!" I wept, grasping the basket. "I DON'T THINK I'M READY TO GO OVER THERE..."  
  
"How long have you been watching Miss Flower, Ri-chan?" Ayame turned suddenly dead serious, zooming in towards my face.  
  
"Eto... a week... but I didn't know it was her until today..." I whispered, afraid to say it. I closed my eyes, tears of angst streaming down my face.  
  
"And... how many days since you saw that sweet little face, that you for some reason didn't recognize, have you been in love with her?" he chuckled inwardly.  
  
"Ehh..." I tried to think of the correct answer. Was there one? I paused for a moment. "All of them..." I breathed, hoping he didn't hear me. "And I didn't even know her at the time... I'm so dirty..." I went to wash my hands.  
  
"AH-HA-HAAA! IF I WERE YOU, AND YOU WERE ME, AND I SAW HER AND WAS IN LOVE WITH HER I WOULD HAVE KNOWN RIGHT OFF IT WAS TOHRU-KUN! WHO ELSE IS SO PERFECT A MATCH FOR OUR DEAR RI-CHAN?!" he suddenly went spastic again, spewing his "wisdoms" and holding me by the shoulders. "YOU, MY DEAR RI- CHAN, ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH OUR MISS FLOWER..." and with that I was magically booted out the door.  
  
***  
  
"AH GURE-SAN! IT IS WONDERFUL TO SEE YOU! COME IN!" I ushered Gure-san in flamboyantly, gushing his praises. "AAH AND YOU LOOK SO HEALTHY..." I looked him over seductively. "and there is only one way for a man to be THAT healthy... have you been cheating on me since I was away...?" I licked my lips.  
  
"Ahh, Aya, my love, I would never cheat on you! How could I?" he tipped his head down, looking hotly out from beneath his hair.  
  
"AH ME TOO!" and with that stars appeared behind us and we ran, arms outstretched towards each other. "GURE-SAAAAN!!"  
  
"AYAAAA!" and before we met some binoculars appeared and we stared out the window.  
  
"Does Ri-chan know I am here, Aya-my-love?" Gure inquired, looking at me quizzically.  
  
"AH HE WON'T MIND! AH-HAH-HAH!" I looked through the binoculars again, watching the boy cross the street. "HE MAY NEED ALL THE HELP HE CAN GET WITH BAGGING TOHRU-KUN! OH-HOH-HOH!" I grinned, watching Ritsu walk slowly through the park, glancing back several times, all of which I waved at him.  
  
"Wait... Tohru-kun?" The binoculars disappeared and suddenly Gure and I were face-to-face. "What are you talking about?! She's near here?!"  
  
"AH, GURE! YOU ARE SO DENSE!" I got back out the binoculars and held his face so he was staring directly at Tohru's window.  
  
"Sou sou..." he muttered, smiling.  
  
"What are you smiling about?!" I took the binoculars from him, looking. "What is our Miss Flower doing?!" I watched as she finished buttoning the top button of her shirt. "AH, GURE! HOW THOUGHTLESS OF YOU! YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME THE BINOCULARS SOONER!!"  
  
"Sou..." he mumbled, we again shared the binoculars as Ritsu entered the building.  
  
"Foo... we cannot see him for a bit... tea?" I produced a teapot out of air and poured Gure a cup.  
  
"Should we call Ha-san?" Gure inquired, sipping his tea placidly.  
  
"Ah... he'll make me go home... let us wait!" I held up a finger, smiling broadly.  
  
Gure picked up the binoculars again, and glanced back outside. "Ah, should be up there now..."  
  
***  
  
My hands trembled as I walked over across the street. I nearly dropped the basket twice, and almost got run over as I went from my side of the street to the park. There was a little kid, sitting in the middle of the grass picking dandelions and blowing away the fluff on top, and I smiled softly. Ah to be a child again... I thought hopelessly, gripping the basket handle harder. I would not have to do this... I could watch Tohru-sama without interruption or consequence... I sighed. "Watashi wa hentai desu..." I sniffed, continuing my travel, which seemed to take about a million years.  
  
I looked back at my window, desperately wanting to return and curl up in my covers like the coward I was... but I couldn't. I would not let Ayame- sensei down. "He will be impressed... with me..." I sniffed again, the tears pouring out of my eyes as I watched him wave to me in the window. "oh no..."  
  
I didn't feel right in the clothes Ayame-sensei had dressed me in. I had on long black slacks with a little iris embroidered next to the pocket, and a bright red shirt. I brushed out the wrinkles slowly as I walked, trying to find some way out of this. "I can give it to her... I will. I will do it... no... I can't!! I'm such a coward!! Aaaugh but she will think I'm a criminal and blame herself!!" I snuffled, trying to think of a plan.  
  
The door to her apartment opened with a creak, and I blushed. Now they know someone has entered... Oh dear... I thought. My shoes clacked on the way up the stairs, and I blushed harder. WHAT IF SHE HEARS ME, AND COMES OUT, AND THINKS I'M A CRAZY STALKER-GUY AND I CAN'T GET HER OUT OF MY MIND AND THAT I BROUGHT HER THIS SO I COULD MEET HER?!?!?!?! I mentally spazzed out, my knees locking weakly. I fell on the stair above the one I was standing on, and tried to push myself up. "ARGH..." I groaned, and brushed myself off.  
  
The first flight of stairs was arduous. I couldn't stop trying to think of excuses, trying to figure some way out of this mess. The second was a bit easier, but I still thought up endless excuses, but figured at least I should continue for Ayame-sensei...  
  
I reached the third flight and fell into my own private hell. AAAAH WHAT IF SHE WALKS OUT RIGHT NOW AND SAYS 'HEY I REMEMBER YOU, YOU ARE THAT GUY FROM THE CONVEINIANCE STORE TODAY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE YOU PSYCHO' TO ME?! WHAT IF SHE SAYS THAT!? My free hand flew up to my forehead and I sobbed, cursing my cowardice. I put a hand in my pocket, trying to collect myself and look natural in case the worst-case scenario did happen, and fingered the paper that appeared in there.  
  
I pulled out the two-page note, the paper neatly folded into an excellent representation of a snake, and unfurled it quickly. I read the first page, frowning slightly. "What does that mean?" It read:  
  
**Ri-chan~ Just in case you chicken out, you cute monkey!**  
  
I crumpled it, putting it back in my pocket (of course because I would feel horribly leaving it there on the floor for someone to find and have to take the time and energy to deposit into a waste-basket, therefore perhaps becoming late for work, a date, or school, and therefore being fired, broken up with, or expelled!! AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! I cried softly and opened the second half of the note. It read:  
  
** My Dearest Little Flower~ Please forgive me for being so forward, but I could not catch you on your way out of the store. I apologize for making you worry over me, and thank you for blushing so adorably. I am thankful I was able to see your beauty enhanced even more than it usually is. Please accept the items you left at the store today, seeing as you paid full price for them, and it was my fault completely that you left them. Thank you again. ~Sohma Ritsu~ **  
  
I blushed tremendously. "I can't leave this..." I said softly, trying to figure out whether or not to just go home, or whether to rewrite the note, or what, and I got near to just giving up, but I couldn't control my hand (for some reason...) and it suddenly knocked on the door!!!! "AAH!!" I pulled my hand away, hoping she hadn't heard it, and I dropped the basket, the note, and the other note, which fell from my pocket. I bolted, flinging myself over the rails and ripping off my shoes in midair, grabbing the bottom of the railing with my toes to stop myself from hitting the ground, and slamming into the wall.  
  
"MUST... RUN!!!" I flipped over and landed with a thud as Tohru's door opened, and I ran out the door of her building as fast as I could, carrying my shoes and zipping across the street.  
  
***  
  
"AH LOOK AT THE BOY RUN! HE CERTAINLY IS FASTER THAN HE LOOKS! PERHAPS HE'LL BE AS GOOD A RUNNER AS MY DEAREST LITTLE BROTHER OR KYONKICHI ONE DAY!" I turned to Gure-san and Tori-san, who had just arrived, and smiled broadly. "OH-HOH-HOH! DON'T YOU AGREE!?"  
  
"Sou..." Gure mumbled, completely entranced by the goings-on of outside.  
  
"You need to be quieter, Ayame," Tori-san said, twisting his finger in his ear as if he could hear no longer.  
  
"YES I DID THINK OF BEING QUIET, BUT ISN'T IT MUCH MORE FUN WHEN I AM LOUD?! HAH-HAH!" I blasted the words at Tori-san, his expression never changing.  
  
"Ah, he got louder..."  
  
"Yes, yes, Aya, much more fun..." Gure said half-heartedly, leaning forward. "Ah, Miss Flower has returned inside."  
  
"LEMME SEE!" I pushed him out of the way, even though I had six extra pairs of binoculars hanging around my neck, and grabbed his binoculars. "AH HAH... she is looking in the basket..." Gure grabbed one of the binoculars and peered through the window.  
  
"That is illegal, you know," Tori-san said unenthusiastically.  
  
"Ah, Ha-san, you are so boring..." Gura shushed him. "boring boring boring!!" and he chuckled noisily and watched Tohru open her letter.  
  
"AH HE LEFT MY EMERGENCY-BACK-UP-ONLY-RI-CHAN-WOULD-USE-THIS-NOTE NOTE!" I beamed. "HOORAH!"  
  
"Ah sou... did it even remotely seem as though Ri-chan had written it when you signed his name?" Tori-san looked at me boredly, of course being his usual critical self, and criticized my ingenious plan.  
  
"Ah, well, if he were me and I were him and I were in this same situation I would have written the note so I figure YES! HAH-HAH-HAH!" I went back to my binoculars.  
  
"Ah."  
  
"OH LOOK! SHE LIKED IT! SHE IS BLUSHING AGAIN! KAWAII!!" I pulled a random picture of Tohru out of my wallet and kissed it. "Soon, my love..."  
  
"That's sick," Tori-san grabbed the picture away from me.  
  
"You just want the picture, don't you Ha-san?!" Gure-san said grinning, little hearts flying everywhere.  
  
"AH ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH TOHRU-KUN TOO?!" I grinned at Gure-san, who grinned back at me, and it seemed to be a grinning moment.  
  
"Idiots."  
  
All of a sudden the door slammed open and Ri-chan fell in, panting. "AH WELCOME HOME, RI-CHAN!"  
  
"Hai, okaeri, Ri-chan!" Gure-san greeted happily, sipping his tea again.  
  
Hatori stayed silent for a moment. "I came to collect these idiots if they get on your nerves... they are already getting on mine..." he rubbed his temples.  
  
"AH IIE! THEY ARE WONDERFUL!" Ri-chan waved his hands in front of himself. He ran to the window and plastered himself against it, looking at Tohru's window.  
  
"Ah, Tohru-kun liked your note!" Gure-san winked and continued sipping his tea.  
  
"She did?!" Ri-chan placed a hand to his forehead and whimpered.  
  
"YES, RI-CHAN! BECAUSE MY INGENIOUS PLANS ALWAYS WORK, OF COURSE! HOH-HOH- HOH!!" I placed my hands on my hips and smiled at him. He collapsed.  
  
***  
  
"GOMEN NASAI!!!! I AM SO ASHAMED I LEFT WITHOUT EVEN SPEAKING TO HER AND I COULDN'T STAY I JUST COULDN'T IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN RIGHT BECAUSE SHE WOULD HAVE ASKED HOW I KNEW WHERE SHE LIVED AND THE-" I was cut off as Shigure- sensei poked me in the side and yelled something cheerily about 'victory'.  
  
"AH DAIJOBU, RI-CHAN!" Ayame-sensei patted me on the head, and I cried on the floor for a moment before getting up.  
  
"A-arigatou, Ayame-sensei, for helping me..." I fished in the cupboard for some provisions for my company... I had nothing but ramen, so I took out a pan and some bowls too.  
  
"AH IT WAS NOTHING! ALWAYS READY TO HELP!" he yelled happily, holding up one finger. "IT IS WHAT I AM BEST AT!" he chuckled, and I put on some water.  
  
"You know, you didn't help... you just began a mess," Hatori-sensei replied to Ayame, who looked hurt for a mere moment and replied.  
  
"BUT THERE WILL BE AN EXCELLENT OUTCOME, BECAUSE I WAS THE ONE WHO DEVISED THIS PLAN!"  
  
"Sou..." Shigure-sensei replied, sipping his never-ending cup of tea.  
  
"I think it is time we left. You are too loud."  
  
"Sou..." Shigure-sensei gathered his belongings, his gray yukata hanging on his shoulders.  
  
"..." Ayame stayed silent for a moment, and I thought he might demand to stay, but he smiled happily. "JA NE! Can I drive?!" Ayame asked as an after-thought.  
  
"No."  
  
"Alright!" and in a whirlwind of an exit, they were gone.  
  
I sighed, crumpling to the floor. What had I done?! 


End file.
